How to Whittle Away an Hour at Work

10. Actual work. The most obvious way to whittle away an hour at work is to actually work. But there are days when the to-do list is waning or one is waiting for further information to proceed with the tasks at hand. So what do you do then?

9. Blog. Blogging has helped me make it through hours upon hours of work. Not in my current position, but definitely in the past. This is great when some asinine event occurs, and one is compelled to share it.

8. www.facebook.com... read the status updates and hit refresh. Wait 1 minute, and refresh. This is a far more tedious method of passing an hour, but in a pinch it will work.

7. Mundane quality of work health tasks. These include, but are not limited too... using the restroom, getting a drink of water, making coffee, reheating coffee, eating a snack, washing hands, flossing teeth, brushing teeth, turning on a heater, turning on a fan, turning off a heater, turning off a fan, filling a water bottle, washing dishes, blowing nose, stretching, quick phone calls...

6. Quick looks at funny websites (thechive, d-listed, cracked, funny or die, etc). These must be strategic and short lived, but the comedy relief and mental checkout that these moments provide, seem to make the slow moving hours bearable.

5. CNN.com - Few people can look upon you condescendingly when you are perusing this legitimate news source. It makes you look intelligent and in the know. You can also use the excuse, "I was looking up information about _____" or Did you know that (insert Bill Gates or Steve Jobs) is now doing ______." Between the two of them, one of them is always doing something, and whatever they are doing is always relevant to something going on in your work life.

4. Long drawn out conversations with co-workers about people or things that are mutually or collectively loathed. Ask an instigating question and the chatter will begin. A few well timed questions or comments can often make this method last upwards of 45 minutes or more! **Note, this method can only be used twice per week. Any more than that, and the topic gets beaten like a dead horse.

3. Bob and Sheri. No pair can make 4 hours seem like 2 quite like Bob and Sheri. Their podcasts are best paired with boring, mind numbing work. Beware of working on important emails while listening to Bob and Sheri lest you insert phrases like, "the cone of safety," or "first time caller".

2. Please refer back to 7 and 8. Number 2 is a combination of both.

1. The best way to whittle away an hour at work. Why talking to your Twinkie of course! A good IM conversation involving the previous evening's activities, recipe discussions, a little gossip, and of course a healthy dose of twin-doting can make an hour pass like 20 minutes.

A Labor (Day) of Love

I couldn't stop thinking about you and your situation last night. It is the ultimate form of irony and maybe also Godly affection, that you should have a situation so utterly familiar in your new family. Heading out on your family vacation, having a great time, then BAM! The sh*t hits the fan and it is like you are back at Folly Beach again.

However, the good news is that from what it sounds like, you handled yourself with an exceptional amount of decorum. Perhaps all those years at Folly Beach, taught you a different way to deal with that kind of conflict. And also, it feels a lot like God is indicating that our family is not so different, that there is an alpha in every family that causes problems when he doesn't get his way.

I am proud of you. And I can't wait to see you, squeeze you, and bask in the bliss of the twin glow that forms when we are together.

Labor Day Weekend - No sweat!

Hi baby,

I just got off the phone with you. Lutsen was wonderful and draining all at the same time, but I appreciate you letting me vent. I will keep you updated on the situation with Chad and Amy. Now that I have gotten the argument out of my system, I feel like I can look forward towards the best weekend this fall - LABOR DAY WEEKEND!!!

We are going to have so much fun! I can't wait to see you, hug you, and spend way too much time chatting with you.

I love you so much!

Lutsen - Time to fly

Ok, I think I will take a stab at telling this story. The one that, if picked, wins me a week at Caribou Highlands. Worth a shot, right? :P

The highlight for both Stephen and I after your Super Bowl visit was our upcoming ski trip to Lutsen. Being God only knows how many years since either of us had skied, Stephen and I were psyched at the opportunity to fly down the mountains; especially since both of our definitions of "flying" seemed to be so similar. Yeah, right. Friday afternoon as we crossed into Duluth, however, individual visions of us sloleming down the mountain remained the foder of our own daydreams.


We stopped at Betty's Pie's, a prominent pie shoppe that I had noticed on our previous trip to Lutsen. It did not disappoint. We induldged in a couple of their most unique burgers - one had cream cheese and olives. Sort of like pickles on a pizza, unexpected but really good. Seeing as we were at a pie place, we naturally had to get pie. I had a 5-layer chocolate cream pie. Ummmm, chocolate buzz much? More like a chocolate coma. Stephen enjoyed his berry pie while waiting for me to come out of my coma. :)


Right up the road from Betty's Pies are these amazing falls. Perfect place to start outdoor adventure weekend. We threw on our hiking boots and headed toward the frozen falls. So you know how they say something is in the water? Well, I think I know where that phrase developed. As we made our way past the visitor center, Stephen pointed out a very chatty squirrel at the top of a tree. He was chattering like crazy so we snapped a couple of photos. When we passed, we realized he was chattering at a second squirrel. As we reached the frozen and barren falls, something caught Stephen's eye. He squinted his eyes and recognition hit him. Almost fractically he cried, "Beth, give me the camera!"


I fumbled to get the camera out of the case and turned on, meanwhile a large grin formed on Stephen's face. While handing him the camera, my eyes followed his line of sight and I start to crack up. This mother and daughter were both topless, posing for a picture on the far side of the falls on a teir below us. Stephen got a couple of shots but no great ones. We set out to explore the frozen falls and eventually ended up on a scenic ledge with a small natural bridge. As I instructed Stephen on where to pose for a picture, a family of a father and mother, their daughter and her husband offered to take a picture of us. :) It was the same two women we had snapped topless. Haha! I just grinned and grinned and grinned.


We were on our way out of the park, and as we passed the tree where the squirrel had been, we noticed he was still in the same spot chattering away. Except this time he had started humping the tree branch while continuing his rant! Women with their tops off in the winter, squirrels humping tree branches... Seems like there is a good arguement that Gooseberry falls having "something in the water".


We hit Lutsen around 4:30, checked into our room, and prepared to take a late afternoon walk around Grand Marais. Ofcourse, Stephen has a buddy of a buddy in Grand Marais, because really, does he not know someone everywhere? We end up finding this guy, Craig, and then spending about 45 minutes just hanging out chatting. Craig asks us if we would like to meet up for dinner at Caribou Highlands, and we are pumped to get to hang out with him and see who we meet. And meet people did we ever! Craig's golf partner ended up being are server/bartender at Moguls (in Caribou). Not only did we get to meet a bunch of people who work at the resort, but we ate some of the most amazing food I have ever had. We parted ways with Craig and then decided to keep the night going up at Papa Charleys.


So Papa Charley's by day is a sweet spot to grab lunch with some stunning views, good food, too. By night, Papa Charley's turns into a sausage factory. For every one female there are easily 6 dudes all looking for action. Mind you, not all the women who enter are single, so the ratio of horny males to available singles goes up to like 30 to 1, seriously. Stephen and I found our happy place in a nook upstairs playing Big Buck Hunter.


Saturday morning dawned earlier and fuzzier than I would have liked it to, but Stephen urged me out of bed and downstairs for some hearty breakfast. We filled our bellies, rented skis, and we slapping on our skis by 10:30 a.m. Time to fly.


Remember how I said Stephen and my visions of "flying" merged harmoniously? Well, it did for about the first 20 seconds we were on the hill. We had selected a blue trail and I contentedly, though a little wobbily, made my way down the mountain. I looked to my left and to my right for Stephen, and then up the hill, only to realize that my husband was the motionless pinpoint halfway down the mountain. No big deal, I'll get my ski legs.


Next ride up the lift we hop off and start searching out our next trail. Another exciting but slightly challenging blue trail? That was what I was looking for as Stephen lead me to the top of a very steep black diamond. "How about this one?" he asked. At that moment, my stomach made a running jump out of my throat, trying to escape the horror of plumeting down this trail.


"No, absoltuley not. Are you crazy?! This is only our second trip down the mountain, can't you give me a couple of passes at this to get my ski legs?" Begrudgingly Stephen agreed and lead us to a fun and safe looking blue trail. Making my way down this 6 ft. wide trail, I narrowly missed running into one of the hundreds of trees that line both sides. I began thinking about what a long day this could turn out to be. I wasn't going to go down without my best shot, but I was going to approach it my way.


First item on the agenda was to find a black diamond that looked managable. We made our way to the furthest mountain by way of ski lift and snow trail. There we found a fabulous learning ground for me. This hill was filled with a variety of blues that could have been black and black that could have been blue. It provided the perfect place for me to experiment with my techniques and to work through some challeneges, like my stammering heart at the top of even a slightly steep grade at the top of a hill. In no time I was feeling like a much improved skier and I was ready to take my chances on the challenging mountain on which we had started.


We made our way back to the top of the first mountain. Once at the top, Stephen lead us to the place we had been before, where I refused to consider going down the mountain. Again, I was nearly paralyzed by fear. I was convinced that the sign was pointing us towards two options - both DOUBLE black diamonds. Upon Stephen's relentless insistance that that direction would provide a less dramatic black diamond trip down the mountain, I made my way slowly toward him. And then he was off.


Before I knew it or wanted to know it, Stephen was again a motionless dot waiting for me to join him. With a deep breath and a little temporary insantity, I pushed off over the edge. Wind whipping past my ears accentuated the feeling of my heart soaring as my mind relinquished and let my body take control. I pulled up next to Stephen with a gigantic grin on my face - I could do this! I continued toward the trail that would continue my journey to the bottom of the mountain. As I looked around for Stephen, I again realized that he was not in my immediate vicinty. Crap. He was headed like a madman toward the sharp drop off of the double black diamond. Seriously?!?!


I whip a u-turn and head toward what will surely end in an ambulance ride. When I reached the point where the grade of the trail noticeab;y sharpened, I stopped. Standing there was like looking off of the edge of the world to me. Tears sprang into my eyes and I began to figure out how I would dope with failing to go down this trail. I just couldn't. I looked up the mountain and a girl zipping by me. She was headed straight for the double black diamond and was trying to gain speed. I thought, "Well, if she can do it, why can't I?" So I did.


Again, my mind gave way to motion, and each foot down the mountain carved confidence in me that I have never before known in myself. Stephen was waiting for me at the bottom of the double black with a huge grin on his face. "How was it?" he grinned.


That day, I challenged myself and conquered time and again. I found myself pondering the impact of my new found confidence on the other areas of my life. How many things had feared held me back from accomplishing?


We wrapped up skiing around 2:30, so that we could beat the hot tub rush. Between that, the sauna, and a couple of beers, we were pretty much done for. We grabbed a bite to eat, selected a movie, and headed to our room to watch it. Fifteen minutes later, both Stephen and I were fast asleep.


------------------------


There it is, my story. Any thoughts? Please feel free to help me proof this and make it more entertaining. Love you!


Bethie

Return of the Run

Mark it on your calendar - March 5th marks the return of running for me!

The elliptical has been a wonderful outlet for maintaining some sort of healthy activity, but I can bear it no more. I yearn for the sunshine, the fresh air, watching life as it happens! So this morning, when I finish this blog and this cup of coffee, I will don my winter running clothes, my under utilized running shoes, and my mp3 player and put my feet to the pavement. I was going to take advantage of Bob and Sheri podcasts but I can't figure out how to get them on to my mp3 player!

Life up north has gotten significantly more tolerable in the last month. I am starting to feel a routine enter my life, and that is very calming. Minnesota is such a gorgeous place to live. I can't begin to describe the drama played out in nature around this state. When I cross the Mississippi River and it is shrouded in fog, steam rising from the river, and rays of sun light adding deep hues of yellow and sparkle to the trees coated in ice, I can't breathe for a moment. The beauty I witness in that moment encourages me to seek out others, and they are all around. Work is better. It feels like a job and one that I can actually do. I don't love it and I don't hate it, so it rates pretty average in the jobs I have had. I am starting to feel more connected to the community and to the people I meet, and on March 17th, I start my pottery class! The worst part? I miss you. I miss the rest of the family a ton, too. But everyday makes me acutely aware of how much you are not only my twin but my best friend. Ironically enough, I think I miss our runs the most. When we started running together, I could never have imagined how much more close it would bring our relationship. I miss talking about everything from religion, to life, to the smell of the man running by us. I think that is part of the reason I stopped running this winter. Running alone would have exacerbated the loneliness I was feeling.

So maybe then today is the first day that I feel stronger than the ache of loneliness. For the first time, I feel like I can cope with it. I am not saying that the prospect of running alone isn't gloomy in this moment, but I think that when I finish, I will feel replinished in a way I haven't felt for a long time. I will let you know. :)

I am glad I wrote this blog. Amazing how writing sometimes leads you to places you never imagined going. Sort of like running, huh? :)

Early Morning Blog(s)

Hi Sweetie,

I read your blog yesterday evening and have been thinking about it ever since. This weekend was so hard on you emotionally, and I think I have some insight on why this may be.

Growing up in the Garrity household, life pretty much always felt like an episode of "Leave it to Beaver". We were fortunate enough to grow up without any major crises and out parents seemed to be 100% dedicated to us - taking us to the train station or park, making snow cream, enrolling us in activities, etc. I think that we both felt that our childhood was exceptional and that we want to give the same experience to our children and the children we impact. You and I have always been overacheivers and when we personally feel like we have not reached our potential we are very critical of ourselves.

But if you take a step back and think about it (or if you have a conversation with Mom and Dad), I bet you will find that they often felt like they were failing us. Remember how Mom would often work late? Or when they couldn't attend one of our events? What about the time Dad got overly mad at Jeannie and then later in life at you? I remember that there was at least one occassion where Mom forgot to pick one of us up. I have two points with this: 1. That all parents do things that they would personally deem failures. 2. As long as you engage your child and are engaged in their life, everything else sort of fades away.

The best gift you can give is love, and wen you have to "fake" enthusiasm, something is lost. The moments I remember aren't so much the big trips and super fun planned activities, they were the little moments, like Mom making blueberry muffins or teaching us how to make crepes. It was Dad laying on the floor building Lincoln Logs with us or singing "Off We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder..." The next time you feel grossly inadequate as a parent, just give Redden a big hug or call him up to find out about his day. Hold true to who you are so that Redden gets the most authentic Mommy he can have. That Mommy is a wonderful, amazing person who may not be perfect in her eyes but his perfect in his; just like our Mommy and all of the other good Mommies in the who wide world.

-----------

It is now 6:40 a.m. and I am sitting at my counter missing you, missing Mom and Dad, missing Jeannie and family. Transitions are difficult, and this morning I am feeling that weigh on me. I have been here for nearly 4 months already. Amazing. I can't wait until this life feels normal, because it still doesn't. It will come - one of these days. For now, I am just going to try to set my sights on the next thing I am looking forward to. Stephen and my ski trip to Lutsen! On Monday, I went to the Unique Thrift Store. WoW. What an experience that place is. On holidays (like President's Day) they run a special - 50% off everything. I have been waiting for this to get some snow paints at a bargain price. What I thought would be a quick in and out visit very quickly turned in to a 45 minute quest. The aisles were literally spilling over with all sorts of people vying for knick knacks, clothes, furniture, and more. Quickly I found a marginal amount of personal space acceptable. You aren't touching me, good enough. Manners were put on hold, because everyone else had done the same. You are trying on an entire cart of clothing in front of one of three mirrors in the store - fine, I will invade your personal space and try to make you share the mirror while I try on this one piece. Though emotionally battered and beaten, I was able to emerge victorious - snow pants for $3.47 after tax.

I am watching the minutes tick by knowing that I really need to go put on my workout clothes and get on the elliptical. Yuck, I am going to have to start this day one way or another. I wish, I wish, I wish I didn't have a job and could dedicate today to errand running, cleaning, working out, cooking, and reading. Sigh, oh well, what can you do. I hope yours is a wonderful day and I can't wait to talk to you again!

Valentine's Day

Seeing your beautiful face on Skype and subsequently reading your Valentine's Day blog, makes me don a big smile while alligator tears well up in my eyes. First, I need you to give Stephen a big hug and tell him that I say, 'Thank you' for taking care of you. Knowing that your other number 2 is taking care of you, makes me feel less stressed and more at ease with the idea that near-complete contentment will find you sooner rather than later. I am very impressed with the way that he has taken on guiding you into this new stage of life.

Second, I know that I have gone into deep writing mode for two reasons... #1 My phone is off. Whenever I am ready to write I turn off my phone. It helps me to stop thinking about the outside world. I don't spend time thinking about who or what might come through the cell tower. Communication is redirected through my fingers onto this backlit screen.

The other reason I know that I have gone into deep writing mode is another #1. I have turned on Augustana. It is funny (ironic funny, not haha funny) how my peace and mental focus is amplified by this group. If I die before you, please pick out any one (or five) of their songs to play at my funeral. Their music makes me feel like I know myself in a more mature way than I often think I do.

Ever since this year started I have felt different. I chock it up to maturation, but there is something else there. To speak frankly, part of my self feels definition and confidence, the other part feels insecurity and loneliness. There are days when I feel like I know exactly who I am and where my life is going. I love those days. I put on my big girl panties (a pair of thongs - really cute actually...), my hair seems to obey my mental commands, and I speak to people with a boldness that comes from my core. The fact that you are so far away feels completely manageable and I am utterly sure that I have at least a decent interpretation of God's path with my other relationships.

Then there are the days where I have not a clue where I am going or what I am doing. I feel like I am the court jester hiding behind the queen's mask. That at any point my guise is going to be discovered and the seemingly strong life that I have built will crumble around me.

Today I feel that. I am choking back a sob as I type this because I know you get it. I don't feel like enough for Brett. I feel like a failure because I am not the parent that he is. I feel completely exposed in my methods, mechanisms, and manners. It makes me question every aspect of myself and makes me feel like I am better off just being alone. I don't feel like I am the right person for anyone except for you, me and Redden. And Redden is only included in that short, short list because he is too young to know the difference. And oh man, is that the amazing grace of children, or what? Impossibly, he thinks that I am the greatest woman in the world... Talk about humbling.

It's this constant back-and-forth between feeling like someone amazing and someone who is royally lacking that generally keeps me in a state of WTF?!

I guess what I am getting at is that before you left, I never had to deal with myself in the same way that I do now. It's a tightrope walk. You think you are doing it right, but all you have to compare it to is everyone else; success or failure. With you here, it never felt so black and white.

I don't really know how to wrap this up except to say I love you. Thank you for constantly reminding me that I don't have to be this or that. Thank you for reminding me that being 'just me' is the person I should be; even when I don't believe it.